October

Sometimes, I can be a total brat. (and the way I spell brat is "b-i-t-c-..." you get the idea.) Those times happen most during certain times of the month, or when I'm lacking sleep.

When both of those things happen at once, watch out.

Unfortunately for my husband, there's nowhere for him to hide when the beast comes out.

He's an amazing husband and he takes my abuse like a pro.

I actually wasn't aware of how bad I got until recently.

Basically the only thing that can make me smile is my baby. She's too cute to be mad at.

But that's not fair.

In an effort to be a more gracious and pleasant human being, I've decided to make some changes.

First, I need to get out more. I hesitate to make plans on a daily basis, because I want to make sure Ellie is getting all the sleep she needs. And since she doesn't stay awake for more than 90 minutes at a time, that makes it difficult to get out of the house and do stuff.  I've trapped myself indoors.

Second, I need more sleep. For the month of September, Elliott decided she wanted to wake up every 3 hours again. She's been sleeping mostly through the night (only waking once a night) since she was like 4 months. So this was a shock to my system.  And because I was so tired, I actually couldn't fall asleep. I would lie awake at night for hours, and when I'd finally drift off, it was time to get up with her again. I exhausted all month. Finally, last week, she went back to only waking once a night.  I'm finally starting to feel like a human again.  Now what I will do is take a nap every day.

Lastly, I've decided to limit the amount of time I spend staring at my iPhone. I've had a love/hate relationship with my phone for a while now. I love that it takes such great photos.  I am constantly snapping pics of my little (as you know, if you follow me on Instagram).  However, even after she goes to bed, I find myself reading articles, Googling random junk, and just starting at Instagram and Facebook for hours.  It's like my go-to when I have any millisecond of downtime. Like going to the fridge when you're bored.  It is the worst. And it's caused some problems in my marriage.

There are a few ladies that I follow on Instagram who've announced that they are taking a break from social media for the month of October, and I have to say, I'm intrigued. I want to be present with my baby, with my husband, and with my friends. I want to be grateful for my life, not comparing myself to others via social media. So I'm thinking I may join them.

I will still post here (and probably more often), but I'll be deleting the Instagram and Facebook apps from my phone so I won't be tempted. Wish me luck!

This is going to be hard...

"Mom, put that phone down and pay attention, I'm talking to you!"