Two weekends ago, Brad and I went camping with his family at Lake Cushman.
I told you that already.
What I didn't tell you was that on the way back, we had a bit of an adventure in a little town called Belfair, WA.
I dozed off during the drive home. As I do every car ride these days. Growing a baby is exhausting.
I awoke, as we were passing through Belfair, to find Brad with his eyes half closed trying to keep his head from bobbing up and down. I asked him if he wanted me to drive and he said 'no, because you're tired.' I told him I'd rather drive (I'd already had a nap), than have him fall asleep at the wheel. He said he'd be fine.
Then his head bobbed again a few minutes later.
I told him to pull over at the next coffee shop he saw so that we didn't all die on the way home.
A few feet down the road, there was a driveway that lead to a little drive thru coffee stand at the edge of a parking lot about 50-feet from the road. The only sign we saw said 'Espresso' and had a bright yellow sunshine painted on it.
As we pulled up to the window, Brad made a sarcastic comment about how he hoped it was a bikini coffee stand. (He didn't really hope that.) You couldn't see anyone through the window at first. The barista was off to the back of the shop.
When she walked around the corner, she was naked. OK, not really. But she was wearing a very tiny bikini.
And my husband panicked. He turned to me before she opened the window, gasped and said, 'It is a bikini place! I didn't know! Should I just drive away!?' I laughed and said, 'She's already seen you now, perv. Better order!' (I added the 'perv' part just now. I'm pretty sure he would've sped away had I said that for real.)
When the barista opened the window and asked what he'd like, he stuttered and would not make eye contact.
He said 'Uuuuhhh,' a lot and looked everywhere but at her as she asked him what size drink he wanted, what kind of milk, and if he wanted flavoring.
I had quite a few boob-related jokes running through my head during this exchange.
One of which:
'What kind of milk do you want?'
I kept them to myself, though.
Then she started talking about the weather and how summer weather has been crappy. ...Which seemed ironic as she is constantly wearing a BIKINI. Also, it'd been 80-degrees the day before.
Finally, after what seemed like years, she handed over Brad's latte and we left.
And he giggled the whole way home and swore he didn't stop there on purpose, and I was the one who made him pull over there, and how could they not have better signage? What if people had their kids in the car?!
I just kept wishing that I'd looked more pregnant and he could really be the perv who pulled over to gawk at a skinny young girl in a bikini while his pregnant wife sat next to him.
After that, he didn't really need the coffee. He was wide awake for the rest of the drive home.